You are a 15 year old male.
Your hormones are raging, surging, "turn me loose!" Your only outlet is frustration.
"I bet you're still a virgin!"
"No I'm not."
"When? Who"
You make up a lie that flatters no one.
A Goddess lives three doors down. A woman who fills your dreams with scenes of life and lust that you have only experienced in crumpled, hidden magazines. She is recently divorced. With children at home, except on weekends when they are housed at their fathers, two towns away.
You notice she returns your glance before you can turn your embarrassed stare away. She gives you a sly smile.
"Oh God, she knows."
One day, at a gathering at the school, she comes up to you.
"You are sure growing. I could use such a strong man to plow my driveway."
What does she mean by that? Could she be coming on to me?
"Yes Ma'am. I'm available tomorrow after supper." You know tomorrow is Friday, and that her kids will be with the ex, so hopefully dreams will happen.
"You're hired."
Friday you don't leave your shower until the lack of hot water, and the worry of unwanted shrinkage, forces you to. The English Leather that Uncle Bill and Aunt Lil gave you at Christmas is liberally splashed. Even in areas that burn. Areas where English Leather should never be splashed.
Satisfied that you will pass the hygiene test you set off for, then arrive, three doors down.
She opens the door. Goddess in a tight black dress. Chanel number 'Good God Who Cares' drifting, numbing, waking the 15 year old tiger hidden for too long.
"Ma'am.."
She hands you a shovel and a McDonald's gift certificate.
"Me and my new boyfriend Raoul have a dirty weekend planned at Casino Rama. Of course you are too young to know what a dirty weekend is. But someday you will. Oh, here he is. Have fun. See you around."
"Bye.."
Crushed.
Young lust crushes.
Like March.
The slight promise of the warm and wondrous gets buried in a foot of snow and a ton of Raoul.
Buried in a truckload of reality.
Yes, spring will come.
It did at 15. It will soon.
There will just be a bit more frustration before that happens.
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